Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
