My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
