Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
