Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
