dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
