Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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