You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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