I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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