she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
