trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
