Just took my morning after pill in the library
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
