Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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