Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
