Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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