This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Life is so much better after having sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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