Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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