I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
