You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think your dad took our porno
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
