But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
