Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
