my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
