I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
