I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
