After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ok first of all what the fuck
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
