Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
