That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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