i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
