um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
