I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
