How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
