After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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