it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
