dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
