I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
