benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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