We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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