He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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