And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
