matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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