I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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