We're facebook friends in real life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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