If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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