There is no way he is gay with that hair.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
