Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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