yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
