please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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