Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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