so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Boobs are out for the taking
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
