You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
