I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
